It's not tt i do not care, i juz don't want to

indifference is one of the most powerful tools; There are times when emotions are too overwhelming to be put on display, and occasionally, a situation calls for more dignity. Indifference provides a shield of privacy behind which one is able to process her real emotions.
i learnt this from the book you gave me

Take my nonchalance for unreasonableness, rudeness, my pride,
but dun expect me to shed my apathy,
provide me a sustenance at least
coz its has been e only thing holdin me tgh,
keepin these tears from fallin..